I have come to the startling but accurate conclusion that the internet to me has taken the form of love. To present my thesis, I will use the Yes song, 'Owner of a Lonely Heart.' As that song states, it is much better to have never known the glories of love, than to have loved and lost (I think someone else said something like that too, but they are dead now and Jon Anderson is alive). To wit: I can not imagine having felt the intoxication, the glory, nay the very rush! of broadband, of macromedia, of endlessly downloading mp3s and bootlegged DVDs, of instant porn and countless blind dates, of movie times and hurricane tracks at my fingertips, and of course, of E-cards to remember all my holidays, anniversaries, and birthdays for me. Having never known this bounty, I could live a normal life. Now though, having bitten off countless bytes [sic] of this apple [sic], I gladly plug the Serpent into my machine and watch His little lights blink green green green.

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