And All of God's Creatures

A woman told me today that all M.D.'s have worms in their heads. Yeah I guess she was in the hospital and this doc was sitting over her she was recovering from a heart attack or hemorrhoids or some such thing and yeah well anyway he's sitting there laughing it up with her she'll be on her feet in no time or her ass whichever it is and this worm about, oh say four inches of it all bloody and purple with these big pinchers on the end and these little chitty legs all wrigglin' around starts pushin' its way out of his ear and there was all these fluids on the side of his face and on his shirt and she starts screaming and he's suprised don't have a clue as to what the problem is then sees her eyes locked on his shoulder and realizes and he starts saying things like 'What did I tell you' and 'You're fucking dead now' or something and he grabs it and slup! yanks the rest of it out of his ear it was probably about a foot long all together and throws it on the floor and starts running around cussing it and stomping on it and it's trying to hide or something but it's only got those little legs on the very front of it so it's all like flippin' around and screaming, yeah, it sounded like it was actually screaming in fear like it knew death was on the bottom of doc's rubber soul uh sole and boy it was terrified and doc caught it's tail under his heel and it screamed! oh man the vase full of roses from her daughter shattered under that sound and then doc's other heel caught its head and there was this sudden puff of smoke just a tiny little bit like a cigarette being lit and the scream stopped and doc said 'Fuck you, too' or something like that and he plopped back down on the bed and picked up where he left off 'so you should be let out today, I'll let the day nurse know. You take care,' and he got up and left and she looked over the side of the bed and the thing the worm was mostly crushed but she could still see its face and it was looking at her it was alive still just barely but it was and it was looking at her and it was blaming her she could feel it the despair hitting her as if to say 'you didn't have to tell I could have escaped why? why? why?' and then it let out a sound just like the last whimper her dog Spike made when he died after being torn in half by a semi and that was when she started screaming and screaming and screaming again and now she's in here with us.

She seems like a nice lady, but the others think she's a little weird.

A nugget from '93

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