In a bout of logic that I won on a tko in the seventh round, I stuffed 1,700,942 pieces of Dubble Bubble bubble gum into my mouth, correctly figuring that the bubble I then blew would be, in size, the equivalent of a bubble blown with 3,401,884 non-dubble pieces; the problem was, as I floated off toward the horizon, I could not obtain my prize money nor my championship belt, and didn't make it home until I got stuck in Richard Branson's hair.

Richard was quite a fun bloke -- he not only let me ride home gratis in his dirigible, but he also gave me a free three-pak of his new Mint Chutney flavoured Virgin^™ Condoms. He was a blast, that R.B.!

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