Road Notes: That California Trip

7:20-8:45AM, CDT. Madison, WI to Minneapolis, MN.

How To Board A Plane.

1. Get to airport one hour before departure.
2. Wait in line in the same place for so long that the soles of your shoes imprint the Earth's core.
3. Let Northwest Airlines then pull you from that line that moved about as far as the Rockies over the same length of time and hustle you into a much shorter line because your plane is leaving in 17 minutes.
4. Imprint the Earth's core for an additional 20 minutes.
5. Be placed on a later plane, not with a "sorry for the inconvenience," but with a "don't even talk to me about your problems today."
6. Get on a later plane and find that you and someone who is the spitting image of Grace Slick have the same seating assignment.
7. Invent centering mantra: "I work in Jefferson. I am on an airplane. I work in Jefferson. I am on...."
8. Accept karma. Chew some way groovy gum, man.

Margin Note: Is it coincidence or my karma that the spitting image of Grace Slick now sitting next to me as I wait for my connecting flight to San Francisco is humming "White Rabbit"??

12:00 Noon, 37,505 feet over Boulder, Colorado
Sitting next to a lovely young twink couple. Makes me want Twinkies.

Arrival: San Francisco, California

1:35 PM, PDT
A note on California fashion: Lo-cut waisted Capri jeans, sagging knee-length white sweat socks, and Birkenstock sandals: NO.

2:00-8:00PM, PDT
Why...are...there...so...many...#$%&#!!...HILLS????? Haven't they ever heard of DYNAMITE out here? Where's Bernard Mickey Wrangle when I need him....

11:00PM
Time to re-ignite the moon.

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