Chapter Three: Riding the Woolite Wind to Victory

Lint the Great would soon discover that his final escape was as yet dubious. Though he had survived the icky clutches of the Hairball of Evil, one of the more powerful minions of Dooky, Joe's Cat of Great Evil, Lint the Great now found himself wafted into ever more treacherous peril -- he landed upon the Sock of Death.

The Sock of Death had been removed from Joe's foot not an hour before, after having been forced to ensconce the Stinking Appendage of Joe within a layer of cheap, unbreathing faux-leather Doc Marten knock-offs for well over 30 hours. Lint the Great could smell the fury of the Sock of Death, and knew that if he did not act, he would be doomed.

In a bold move (the kind that could only ever be taken by a being as great as Lint the Great) Lint the Great, feeling a building breeze, lifted into the air and daringly rode upon the back of Dooky the Evil himself -- the Overlord and Creator of the Hairballs of Evil. (At that epiphanous moment, Lint the Great realized why his brethren chose to call him Mu'ad Dib.)

Dooky -- being of Evil mind and Evil body -- sensed the Greatness of Lint the Great. In a skin-crawling display of just how evil and not humorous at all from the point of view of Lint the Great despite what humans think were the actions of Dooky's back-fur, Dooky's fur began moving as a seething army, twitching and writhing in an attempt to unseat Lint the Great; and with a strange, chilling cry to battle -- "mew" it was -- Dooky twisted his body and in one motion licked Lint the Great from his fur with his barbed, dragon-like tongue, a tongue pink with evil.

Lint the Great felt the first inkling that he may have been done for. Not only was he caught again by Dooky the Evil, but this time Dooky seemed set not on swallowing him whole, but on first rending Lint the Great to pieces within his gaping, gnashing maw. And even if Lint the Great had been a human like Joe Eggfondle, he was sure he would not have been laughing like a loon the way Joe was at Dooky looking crazy (with evil) while waggling his head back and forth and trying to masticate the ephermeral (yet Great) mass of Lint the Great and falling over in a pile of Humiliated Cat Evil in the proccess.

Lint the Great, damp with the Cat Spit of Evil, suddenly found himself out of the frying pan and in the fire -- he had survived Dooky the Evil once, and felt he could again; but when Joe stormed over to the battle of Great Lint Good and Great Cat Evil and lifted Lint the Great from Dooky's mouth, Lint the Great knew the battle had been lost.

It would take a miracle for Lint to survive to Chapter Four.

Stay Tuned for Chapter Four: Joe Gets a CD in the Mail: "The Miracle" by Queen with that Really Bad 'Radio Ga Ga' Song.

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