Conversation With a Friend

TM: "I'm also going to work on a proposal to Pfiser."

Friend: "Pfiser?"

TM: "I think they should package one Cialis and one RU486 each in a heart-shaped, red-plastic/foil package that can be purchased at 24 hour stores, Walgreens, Spencer's Gifts-type places, etc. If they can get it on the market for about $12.95 by Valentine's Day, they'll make a fortune. I'm going to ask for a flat $27,000; I figure they'l be happy for me to sell them this amazing marketing idea, and my karma will be mostly clean in the end. Let them salt Satan's bacon, doesn't bug me none."

F: "HA! An interesting proposal, but if I'm not mistaken, doesn't RU486 have some unpleasant side effects?"

TM: "Doesn't everything? Fine, I'll suggest they also include two Tums. Cherry-flavored, of course."

F: "You're such a humanitarian."

TM: "I think....no, I LIVE - for the People."

TM: "Besides, I need the 27,000 for a satin indoor pool liner. Paisley. Expensive."

F: "Oh, okay."

F: "When you put it that way."

TM: "Well, the liner'll run me about 4Gs; see, I don't have an indoor pool; I'm going to tack it to the ceiling around my studio about one inch out from the walls, then I need the rest of the money to buy various flat screen TVs and flat-panel HiFi speakers to mount behind the liner, at which point I will play each any every one of them continuously on different wavelengths, channels, in-between AM radio stations, and HAM frequency broadcasts. A couple, I'll tap into the S.E.T.I. feed."

F: "The...the S.E.T.I. feed."

TM: "Yep. S.E.T.I. I hacked them. I'm not paying 40 cents a minute roaming for nothing."

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