If You'd Invented This Yesterday You'd Be Rich By Now, Pt. 1

The Handy Home Continuum Cleaner

Steps:

1. Breathe steadily for 10 seconds into the Handy Home Continuum Cleaner's plastic tube.
2. Set the Handy Home Continuum Cleaner in the center of a room, much as you would with a bug bomb.
3. Press the green button and leave the room, sealing it tightly for 60 minutes.

When you return to the room, you will find anything you do not plan to use, wear, touch, or remember for at least 18 months coated in a sickly green dust. If the item has also been ignored for at least 6 months, the layer will be a pukey orangish color that will not come out of most fabrics, woods, plastics, or metals.

In this way, the Handy Home Continuum Cleaner enables even the worst offender of 'pack rat syndrome' to clean out their office, garage, or overstuffed closet with a minimum of mental waffling!

Trust the Handy Home Continuum Cleaner - you'l never need that crap again!

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