No, seriously - how come gingerbread men are never baked in wheelchairs? Or when you call for the time and weather, the voice doesn't have a stutter and a lisp? Or why McDonald's ads never have fat people? Why do all those disposable razor commercials make me feeling like Gilette wants me to join the Air Force? If the brain is the #1 sex organ, why was that woman kicked "between her whoring legs" and not in the head? Why do hotel chains advertise that it "feels like home," then there isn't any cat puke on the floor? Why on God's good green Earth have I started calling it an 'ATM Machine'?? How come no one wanted that fancy grout scrubber until this week? How many people won't know they wanted a grout scrubber until Christmas Day? Why do I think I might want a grout scrubber? Because it is blue? Will my deodorant really make me a super-spy? Will I have to join the Gilette Air Force first?

If I use that Mach XXXIIIVIVXI razor and the AXE deodorant...will my chin look like that, too?

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