They really need to do something, the marketing departments of the Hughes and Traurige Kühe Dairy farms. The packaging is too similar; both half-and-half products come in orange and white fluted bottles, same height, same design.

I get the Hughes usually, because I truly love cream in my coffee. But I was tired this week, and accidentally picked up the Traurige Kühe half-pint bottle instead of the Hughes; as we know, the Traurige Kühe is homogenized, pasteurized, and weltschmerzed.

I did not even notice until this morning on the way into work. I was driving around a bend in Route 18, and was about half-way through my second cup of coffee when I peered out across a long, low cropfield in the milky fog, noticing for the first time the faintest shade, almost a shadow, of a bourgeoning greenness that has just begun to fleck the fields. Aloud I cried, "Such a green as this can only bespeak of the impetuous abandon with which the buds of nature pose and posture with no heed nor respect for the gruel of winter's dominion, nor do they admire and cultivate their potential for greater good via a sincere will to power, via proud suffering and hypogean fortitude. Such are these buds of hedony; so cocky to be and let be germed in such a March as this. Regrettable."

Despite this, I may try Traurige Kühe's new Schadenfreude Grueyere, which is wheeled and aged in the last remaining barn of the Erobert Wetteifert Dairy (which TK bought out when the Wetteifert Cheddar Tranchant avec les Raisins Aigres met to a miserable reception and folded the company).

Then again, why aspire to taste a cheese with days of so much grey amassed above the green?

Sigh.

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