In a fit of spring cleaning due to temps in the sixties, you clean out your fridge -- and despite throwing away a minimum of ten different over-molded cheeses [bags of shredded mozarella that appear to have morphed into Martian Elvis wigs, the last three cheese curds saved for a bad day then never eaten, bleu cheese that's gone all "bleu"], you still have to sort and arrange -- without exaggeration here -- exactly thirty different permutations, iterations, containers, baggies, samples, sizes, and species of cheese.

Thirty.

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