by Tomorrow's Man
September 29, 2006
Words of Vice for Young People
You are running late.
Your coffee travel mug contains multiple green lifeforms singing FSOL melodies.
Your flask is probably still under the couch of that girl who...nevermind.
My advice:
Do not use Depends, Tena, Prevail, Kendall, or even Poise adult diapers to carry your vital beverage with you. Each of them, inevitably, leak, and at most hold a mere 6.2 ounces (Prevail), meeting not even the FDA recommended minimum 8 ounces of coffee per day.
In a pinch, however, Nu-Fit's medium-to-heavy absorbtion Per-Fit brand adult incontinence briefs (with "landing zones") will hold close to 9 ounces; these should be your choice for getting through the day in a pinch.