Midterm elections; ho hum, usually. This year, we voted in droves to try to get a single ripple to move across what has become a viscous political gruel, a pond broth filling the melting pot in which not just the top layer is scum.

So, how did we do? What did we do?

We did okay, but in the sense that we're not dead, but only paralyzed from the neck down. Sad, sure; but there's some glimmers; we may have twitched our left big toe:

In Arizona, they voted to make English the Official Language -- sounds odd, eh? Sounds like a gimmie. But it was more sinister than that: In a state where about 27% of the population is native Hispanic, this vote will cut funding of bi-lingual printed materials. Creepily, the margin was 74% to 26%, or almost exactly the margin of the population to Hispanics.

GLIMMER: As of the last count, Arizona was NOT banning same-sex marriage by a 32,000 vote margin; if it stands, Arizona would be the only state to uphold the same sex marriage referendum. (Of course, if both gays in the couple are Hispanic-speaking only, they may not know it's legal 'cos they won't be able to read about it.)

In California, they voted against funding for alternative fuels; well, sure, hippies all ride bikes.

In Colorado, they banned same sex marriage, domestic parnerships, and legal marijuana. Since Hunter S. Thompson died, the state's gone right into the crapper.

In Idaho, they banned same sex marriage, but they did make it legal to shove a potato up your different-gendered lover's ass. Baby steps, people; baby steps.

GLIMMER: In Missouri -- no kidding -- the vote is neck and neck on allowing stem cell research. Thank you, Captain Asshat, Rush Limbaugh, for picking on Missouri's hero, Marty McFly.

In Nevada, they voted against legal marijuana, but you can still have legal unprotected sex with as many whores as you can get it up for in a weekend.

GLIMMER: Our liberal earthy-crunchies in Oregon voted against forcing teen girls to report abortions to their parents before having one. Duh.

In South Carolina, they overwhelmingly voted against same sex marriage. GLIMMER: They may have also seceded from the Union again, but this time no one cared.

WARNING GLIMMER: Though South Dakota banned gay marriage and medical marijuana, they did not overturn Roe v. Wade; but, face it, the fact that it was on the ballot means women should exodus the state immediately.

In Tennessee, same sex marriage was romped into extinction; GLIMMER: Unless it is marriage to a same sex 1st relative, then it is considered "keepin' the jeanetics of the fambly pure 'nuff."

I said a week ago that in Wisconsin, if gay marriage was banned, the death penalty would be brought back. I'd like my cookie now, please. Though, again, it wasn't hard to predict that fear and ignorace would flock together. GLIMMER: Dane County still rocks the state's socks; that one blue box on the big red glove is a ripple.

So yes, same-sex marriage was trounced, but really, is anyone surprised? We're a country that still thinks guns keep peace, the Iraqi War is self-defense, and control gives us freedom. Is it any shock we'd use politics to help make a religious decision?

At least we now have a female speaker of the house, paving the way for Hilary Clinton to lose in the Presidential race in '08. Why will she lose? Because, boy-o, if you thought the Good Ol' Boy Republicans were willing to put the fix in against Al Bore -- who was running with Tipper and Joe Lieberman, two of the most right-wing Dems ever to try to ban music for corrupting their spoiled rotten brats -- then you'd better believe they won't dawdle when Hilary throws her hat in. They'll have photoshopped copies of Hilary on the cover of Crack Whore magazine in circulation before Bill can pop his Viagra. Still, this is a ripple.

Also, with a small bit of pride here, my home state of Massachusetts elected its first ever black governor. For this still xenophobic, racist, fearful country -- and especially for all the lunkheads in Southie who still consider gay bashing and cross burning aerobic exercise -- this is a ripple.

We're still drowning in the thick, nasty stew that's filled the melting pot that is America for the last half-decade, folks; but look up there, through the chunks and globs and viscera...look, up there, through the murk, at the surface...

...I see a ripple.

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