Ten New Features in Office 2007

As you know, Microsoft Office is coming out soon; what you may not know about is the new right-click context menu associated with everyone's favorite Office Assistant animation, Clippy. Instead of having just the option to 'animate!' Clippy, users will now be able to...

"...melt down Clippy in a pool of lava!

"...see what Clippy looks like getting raped by a Priest!"

"...poke your boss in the eye with Clippy!" [Requires a .gif of your boss]

" ...have Clippy show you how to use him to clean a bong!"

"...see how to use Clippy to perform an abortion!"

"...Clippy plus new Office Assistant "Cottony the Cotton Ball" work with G00gle Maps to show where to find the best Heroin!"

"...make Clippy and his family into a sordid, incestual daisy chain that really annoys your coworkers when they only need one paper clip!

"...how to put Clippy in your nose in just the right way to forget math!"

"...watch Clippy leap out of the screen and turn your life into an Amercanized cookie-cutter, pedantic revision of a truly scary Takashi Shimizu movie. BONUS FEATURE in OFFICE 2007: Purchase before February, 1, 2007, and you get to play the simplistic, two-dimensional lead role of...Sarah Michelle Gellar!

and lastly,

"...watch Clippy dance on his own grave, because he's not in Office 2007! YAAAAY!"

I, for one, can barely contain my dancing to within my own skin.

co-entry rispek to D.A.S.

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